Sunday, January 29, 2012
The Grand Opening - Round 1
Yelise Monte, the matriarch of the family, decided it would be fun to throw a huge party at the newly built nectary before moving into the Plum City Retirement Home. She knew her sons Patrick and Lonnie needed space, and she wasn't getting any younger. Now was as good a time as any to bite the bullet and join the ranks of the elderly residents.
Of course, she wouldn't go alone. She's moving into the retirement home with her brother Chance, who after all this time, still hasn't managed to find himself a girl.
The guests began to pour in with their best formal wear, from the always elegant Nancy Miguel to the...not so elegant Hilda Pike. Yelise never knew what Patrick saw in that girl. She always found her incredibly inappropriate, and grumpy to boot.
Hilda was about to leave in a huff for no real reason, but Patrick convinced her to come back inside. What would drive her out so quickly, I wonder?
Ah, the nectar clerk wore the same outfit as her! The nerve.
Nancy was seen drinking quite a bit of nectar. Apparently, she hasn't read the new Plum City Times report about the dangers of drinking nectar this early in the trimester.
Lonnie wasn't a huge fan of Hilda either, probably because of their mom. Lonnie was always a momma's boy, which is why he still lived at home with her. He's also a huge couch potato; he hasn't touched a treadmill in years.
"Um, sweetheart? Can you shut him up?"
"Just ignore him, he'll stop eventually."
When Hilda and Patrick began showing some PDA, Yelise took it upon herself to kill the mood before it got any heavier.
"Oh, it's so pleasant to see you honey! Have you seen Patrick's son Torrance recently? Oh, he's such a cutie pie! He's starting high school soon."
"That's nice, Ms. Monte!"
"Oh please! Call me 'Mother', dear. You know, like your sister did!"
"Patrick was absolutely enamored with Colette. I don't know what on Earth happened..." Patrick shot pleading glances towards his mother, but to no effect.
"Oh, that wedding was splendid! The best in all of Green Valley, they say. I was so sorry to hear you couldn't attend, but I understand. Those beakers don't clean themselves!"
"Save. Me. Please."
"I'm so glad you approved of your son's marriage to my sister."
"Sure! Your son has wonderful taste in women."
As Hilda and Patrick resumed their kissing, Donta took it upon himself to make fun of his then girlfriend.
"Haha, Yelise got owned by her son's girlfriend! OWNED!"
And of course, Nancy paid the price for her heavy drinking.
"WHY, CREATOR? WHY? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME?!"
Patrick knew that he and Hilda weren't getting any younger, and he wanted her to be the mother of his kids. Well, the mother of his future kids anyway. He didn't want to waste another moment.
"Hilda Pike, will you marry me?"
"Oh my God, yes!!"